The thoughts of a number 1
by Obsessiveangel
Summary: Near, number 1 successor to L. With his rival dead, he has finally gotten the title. But is he happy about it? and why is he jealous of Mello? Near reflects on M's death. hints of MelloxSayu summary sucks... ONESHOT


HELLO. My second fic. . heh. please r&r

Basically, Near reflects on the time he spent with the late Mihael Keehl. he gives his reasons for his own jealousy.

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DEATH NOTE. IF I DID, MELLO WOULD NOT APPEAR IN ONLY 9 EPISODES TO KIDNAP PEOPLE AND THEN DIE. KEKEKE~**

You're gone… Just like that? It's not like you, to give up so easily. You never liked being my tool but look how you ended up. You sacrificed yourself so that I could solve the case. Doesn't that make you my tool? Seriously Mello, why didn't you fight back? Why did you die and dragged Matt along with you. You could have thought of a better plan like when you tricked Light and me during the kidnap of Sayu. Or rather, how could you be so careless? Could you not have guessed that that woman would carry a piece of the Death Note with her?

Everyone knows you hate me. Everyone knows that you are jealous. No one had ever realized that I was jealous of you. Yes, you heard right. I was jealous. You're a genius, yet at the same time, you seem so normal. You had friends, Matt especially. As for me, there was no one. I only saw one potential friend and that was you, Mello. It was you, Mihael Keehl. The one who hates me. The one who would never stop fighting me. The one who died trying to help me. Have you ever stopped to consider how it would have turned out if we had worked together? I doubt so. You were too blinded by your obsession to become number one, by your hatred and anger caused by L's death.

L. He's another reason for me to envy you. I am sure you do realize something. I have never met him. You, on the other hand, have seen him and he had told you many stories. Hadn't it ever occurred to you why he may have done that to you and not me? Yes, it could be because he saw the potential of you ending up like Beyond Birthday but at the same time I think it was due to his preference. I may be number one as his successor, yet he had never talked to me in person. He prefers you, Mello. You remind him too much of himself. Your craving for chocolate is similar to his sugar cravings. The way you slouch when you walk, how you act rashly and recklessly and also, how'd you sacrifice your life and never give up. If only you were a little smarter Mello, L would not hesitate to pick you.

Have you ever thought about what you left behind? Sayu… Don't deny it. I am fully aware that you developed feelings for her during that period of a few days. It is so unlike you to hand over a fully functioning hostage. You weren't there at the exchange. That's weird too. You most probably could not bear to see her leave. Her condition was improving but your death caused her to fall right back into depression. I know she knows the truth about Light. I have seen the look of contempt in her eyes when she looks at him.

What about me, Mello? How do you think I feel. I honestly like you Mello. I wanted us to work together and be friends. I'm envious of the friendship you share with Matt. Look at me, there will be no one who would willingly help me in a crazy plan, like how Matt helped you. Without you, Mello, I am entirely alone in this world. Watari's gone. L's gone. Matt's gone. And now, you too. I still wonder. Could you have thought of a better plan, Mello? Did you really have to die? You were the reason why Kira was caught and yet, you weren't there to bask in your moment of glory. You weren't able to see the look on Light's face when he was exposed.

M, L and B… Three boys from Whammy's house; few of the smartest people in this world. All three died of a sudden, unexplainable heart attack during Kira's reign of the world. Two of them were innocent, killed because Kira was protecting himself; killed because they knew how to stop him. M, Mello, Mihael Keehl, it was your sole efforts, my friend, that saved up from the horrendous devil. No matter where you are now, may your soul rest in peace.


End file.
